Thursday, May 26, 2011

Conversations You Have With Yourself During Every 200 Butterfly

25 Yards: This isn't so bad. Long and smooth. Relaxed. I've trained for this.

50 Yards: Am I going out too fast? Or am I just awesome? Banking on "awesome."

75 Yards:  Slow it down, bucko. Slowwww it down. Easy there. Ah, there we go. Let's start breathing every stroke. Michael Phelps does it. I can do it, too.

100 Yards: Shit.

125 Yards: Shit shit.

150 Yards: Shit damn ass shit damn aaaaarggggggggggg.

175 Yards: And suddenly the pain is gone. There is no pain. Instead, a gentle feeling, like swaying trees in a soft cool wind. There is light there, just ahead. Light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. It is calling to me. It sweetly coos my name, "Hey there. Come here. There's no pain where we are." Siren song mistresses are singing, and I am lost in a vortex of my own euphoria. I see my great-grandfather there. And Harry Carey, he's there too. I can see lush palm trees and golden buildings and emerald-green pools of Jell-O. Rainbows and bunnies and everyone there wears an Olympic gold medal. Waterfalls of singing goldfish and beautiful Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models play harps and giggle together and lightly toss pillows, playfully, waving me closer, smiling, beckoning... The light is brighter now, they are laughing, cheering for me, whispering, "Almost there... almost there..." I slowly float away from my body, float away, laughing at that struggling, silly little boy swimming a 200 butterfly, hitting his last turn, blacking out, but I'm happier now, happier than I've ever been, because the pain is going away, there is no pain, there is only light, bright, white light, and slowly.... I float away.....

195 Yards: AWEOF@*@(%(  oIHEF OE38@*(*#%(#%*(&%hjdsifa #FHFGOI ewohwefa @(*%)#%(jifjiajaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AOIWEJFOIWEF 2309@(%)&%@)**!*!!*@*@$(%(%@)

200 Yards: That wasn't so bad.


  1. I always had 2 big moments: in short course I'd hit the wall at the 100 and say, "i have to do that again??"

    Or Long Course, at the 150 you make the turn and can't even SEE the far wall, is just a moment filled with dread.

  2. I ran into a friend at a meet once who swam with me all through age group. we are now both coaches and within ten minutes of seeing each other for the first time in ten years he brings a swimmer over to meet me and says "Remember in Seattle when you did your first long course 200 fly? I tell people about that all te time. See, this is the guy!" and then he made a bunch of really retarded and contorted movements to imitate me dying at the 100 mark and swimming the rest almost completely vertical with T Rex arms that barely got fingertips through the surface. "yeah... I had kind of blocked that memory out. Thanks for bringing that horrible trauma back into my life in such an embarrassing way!"

  3. I had a teammate in college named Ryan Adams. He was one of the few butterflyers on our team so inevitably had to swim it at every meet. We used to call the tortured stroke he had for the last 50-125 yards (depending on state of rest) the "Maestro". It was a double metaphor for the proverbial piano on his back and the way his recovery resembled a virtuouso pianist banging out a chord.

  4. yards isn't so bad just because you do have more walls. don't get me started on lcm. easily qualified for state for yards but couldn't make it for meters.

  5. The first time I ever swam 200 fly it was LCM. I was 13 years old and a HORRIBLE butterflyer. I think my LCM 100 was 1:30. My coach meant to seed me at 3:30 but instead seeded me at 3:30.

    I will never forget swimming the entire last lap of the race all on my own. After I finished I received the only pity clap of my entire swimming career.

  6. I've had some experiences of my own in the 200 fly. First time I swam it I negative split and got my first state cut ever (yeah I'm not that good). Then once I got DQ'ed for kicking on my side. Now I refuse to swim it and haven't in more than a year. I don't miss it.

  7. We 2Flyers are an elite collection of nuts cos we actually LOVE it... I detested doing it short course; loved the rhythm I got in long course. Cheers! to all 200 flyers & the bodies that have allowed to do that absurd event.

    1. Hells yeah, buddy!
      Everyone says it's the hardest event.
      Let THEM worry about having to swim what I love to do. :)

    2. tru dat I swam it when I was 11 and made it to Nationals... LCM 2:56:15 and I still love it XD

  8. Twice in my life, wish I was forced to do it more short course, might have enjoyed it. Might...

    Yards: Dual Meet in Sr year of High School; 54.mid - 1:09

    Meters: first meet of Summer of Soph/Jr year, can't remember. Only thin I remember is taking my first breath after the 150 turn and the wall looked like it was a minature replica of a swim pool, miles away. Expletives were the only thing passing between my ears that last 50.

  9. I think I'm going to make swim caps with my drawing of this guy on them.... stay tuned.

  10. Preferred doing 200 Fly over 200 BK in my swim career.

    My first time doing it I was 15 and it was at SR. Champs. Coach said if I wanted to get better at 200 BR I had to get better at 200 Fly and that it was also the only way I was getting to finals (12 swimmers in the event). I got out with a big smile knowing I made finals. I walked up to my coach and he said "Well the lifeguards didn't have to get you and oh by the way you were DQ for doing BR kick on your breakout off the start." My response "Why didn't you tell me stop then? I have 100 BR my best event next." My coach "Wanted to make sure you learned for next time."

    I actually laughed in my head until he made me do it at my first LC meet 2 months latter.

  11. Try a 400mtr 'Fly! It was a fun event, last swim of the year, and you were encourages to swim off strokes.

    The guy in the lane next to me, a breast stroker, was swimming front crawl and at the 300mtr turn, he was about 20mtrs ahead and I believed I could take him.

    He eventually beat me by 0.25s! Gutted!!