Monday, July 25, 2011

View From the Stands: Swimgasm

                              Greased up and ready to go:  Swimgasm 

Swimgasm:  From the Greek term, "Holy ****."  The peak phase of swimfandom causing an intense sensation of pleasure that creates changes in brainwave patterns in the brain's limbic region, involuntary muscle contractions and metabolic changes in the swimfan.  (Actually, I think Gustafson said it first unless he stole it from someone.)

Fans, tomorrow at 6am EST we will have our first collective group swimgasm of this 2011 FINA World Championships.  Michael Fred Phelps and Ryan Steven Lochte in the men's 200 free.  The Baltimore Bullet vs. Reezy.  The golfer vs. the surfer.  The World's Greatest vs. The Little Train That Could.  For years Ryan Lochte has swam behind Michael Phelps.....that is until Nationals last year.  I was there.  In the shining California sun I forgot about my sore ass for 2 minutes and let my Coffee Bean Iced Blended melt as I watched Ryan pull away from Michael during the breast of the 200 IM.  The place went nuts and I think that was the moment Ryan Lochte fired the warning shot and shouted out loud, "NO MORE!" His showing at Pan Pacs was another warning shot and tomorrow morning is the first offense in the battle before the full-on assault in London next year.  Swimgasm.

For the swimfan, it doesn't get any better than this.  I'm old enough to remember when Spitz won his 7 gold medals.  It was exciting and historic.  My grandmother couldn't believe a nice Jewish boy could swim that fast.  This is the era of Michael Phelps, the greatest swimmer of all time, and one of the greatest athletes of any sport ever.  We are a part of it and it's a privilege.  I'm excited he's still swimming.  If it was me after '08 I would have taken my millions and retired to my waterfront condo with the hot tub and the hotties to never be seen or heard from again.  Okay, so he hasn't been the most dedicated of all swimmers and maybe it'll matter and maybe it won't.  I can still see him coming off the wall in the last turn and winning every event  he's entered in this week.  Swimgasm.

But I do think this is Lochte's time.  The keg-throwing, the Gatorade ads, the banana hammocks, the Martian shoes, the multiple injuries, the closet full of silver medals, all of it....the entire story culminates tomorrow morning with the 200 free.  Phelps proving it's not over and Lochte proving it's just the beginning.  Swimgasm.


  1. I did indeed coin the term "Swimgasm"


    I was sitting right next to you last year – matching shirts, camera ready, voice rested… when Ryan flipped to the breaststroke in the IM and blew past MFP. We went ballistic.. I don’t pray, but tonight.. I will ask the swim gods to give him the strength to kick some serious a$$. I don’t need anymore gray hairs and I don’t think my neighbors are going to be happy with me screaming at 6AM- But I don’t care

    As mikey from the goonies ones said “ Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We've got to.”

  3. ....a huge contribution to society, Gus. Fall asleep tonight knowing you made a difference.

  4. its missb
    ps. that is one of my all time favorite pictures!! I hope another magazine is smart enough to do another spread of those two...

  5. Yeah! Get it, girl!

  6. Matching shirts? Jesus....what were we thinking. I regret that and the blue eyeshadow I wore in the 80's.

  7. Wow, great entry Lisa! You have me stoked for the race tomorrow morning; after reading this, I may even wake up early enough to watch it live :)

  8. The urban dict definition is from 2009. Did Gus use it before that?

  9. My bets:
    1. THP
    2. Agnel
    3. Reezy
    4. Biedermann
    5. Phlops
    6. Russia A
    6. Russia B
    8. Mike Tree

  10. I distinctly recall Gus using that term back in the days.

  11. You bet. Anyhow, I think that qualifies as "prior art", so I pronounce the matter settled.