Thursday, June 28, 2012

Resisting the Panic Button

(Note: Every Year I have multiple panic attacks about the chances of our men's 4x100 Relay Usually it resolves itself by this point. What follows is one man's struggle not to hit the panic button before tomorrows final)

Tonight I pictured Leigh Nugent, Australian National Team Coach, watching our men's 100 free prelims and semi's from a secret lair. With each swim he cackled with joy. Why shouldn't he? While Nathan Adrian improved significantly on the 49.0 that led prelims with his 48.3, Nugent appears to have not one but two hammers to bang on his US competitors in the 4x100.

Meanwhile, Yannick Agnel looked up from his twice daily wine and cheese party to stare down his nose at the results. He then ignored another text message from Alain Bernard asking "yo what you up to tonight*"

*however you say that in French

In Moscow, Vladimir Putin gathered the Russian squad and stared at them really intensely for nearly an hour, hoping to convey that they better win...or else.*

*they would be forced to run against him in the next election

Italy has no idea what happened because their internet was turned off earlier in the month for no reason in particular.

Finally, British sprinter Adam Brown burst in to tell his teammates the results and comment "I reckon we've got a shot now don't we?". And I laughed and felt better.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


  1. If there aren't 47's in finals tomorrow... I'm really nervous what will happen in London

  2. I wanna hang out with Alain Bro-nard so hard.